Archives for category: Ramblings

I stopped my kitchen on-a-roll to write this. No kidding.

Everyone I know is intolerant. No one I know is all-inclusive. We are all like a fancy resort in a sunny, warm clime. We are all good and nodding “uh-huh” until we see, smell, taste, hear, touch something that creates an opportunity to carve out a niche and criticize. For whatever reason.

Christians are criticize anyone who does not believe just like their preferred Christian clan. Bombs are tossed.

Other faiths criticize Christians. Bombs are tossed.

Non-faiths criticize anyone with a faith. Hearts are hardened.

Conservatives criticize liberals. Laws choke everyone.

Liberals criticize conservatives. Laws choke everyone.

Libertarians criticize other political ideologies. Laws choke everyone.

Broncos fans criticize Seahawks fans. Marijuana is wasted.

Seahawks fans know they’ll win. I mean, Seahawks fans criticize the Broncos. Smack talk is wasted.

And so on and so on. I know NO ONE who would open their door to a person they do not know and help them in any way they can. Not even me.

I am going to protect myself, my family, my friends, my home. I am not tolerant. And I personally know no one who is.

There are people who are more likely to open a door and a heart to those they do not know, who may be completely different from them, but it matters not one bit before or after a ride is given, a meal is served, a heart is heard. A dearest family to me brought in a hitchhiker that stayed with them briefly. But even they offered up their tree house rather than their home. They had a family, a home to protect.

There are the selfless people much of the world knows about – like Mother Teresa. But even she is criticized here for not encouraging the impoverished in ways that would have given them the ability to lift themselves out permanently. Maybe she did. I won’t ever know. I do not pretend to know hearts and minds.

No one is tolerant. No one.
And it is a good thing. It is OK to not agree. It is OK to believe different things. Until we force, physically or financially, others to believe like us. Like is happening here. It is OK not to agree. Move on.

I am not putting my dish gloves back on. It’s almost tea time.


Really? Is anyone surprised that Phil Robertson believes homosexuality is a sin? And did anyone bother to read on that he clearly and decisively said he was not condemning them, but loving them and sharing Jesus’ love with them? Here are some nutshell thoughts.

1.)  He was asked a question and he answered it honestly. How many of us, especially our nazi leaders (Ds, Rs, Ls , and Is) answer direct questions honestly?

2.) His show never hid his personal beliefs. He has not pretended to be anything other than the sinner he is. How many of us don’t put on airs to promote ourselves?

3.) What is “tolerant” about ousting anyone because of what a person holds true in his heart? Uh… Methinks tolerance is overrated and most of those preaching tolerance are a.) liars because they are not in any way tolerant and b.) fakers because they lie to promote themselves.

4.) Is it a coincidence that all this hub-bub has befallen Phil Robertson after the Duck Dynasty Christmas Show that was promoted for two weeks on A&E? No. The news about the GQ interview has been out there a while. A& E manipulated the market in cahoots with money-suckers such as GLAAD who are of the likes of MAAD. No coincidence.

Here’s my take – Phil Robertson knew damn well what he was saying and to what audience he was saying it. Phil Robertson will be fine without A&E. And truly, I don’t even really think this is a free speech issue as he was bought and paid for. And he knew it. Perhaps he was tired of being beholden and knew this was a sure deal to set him free AND get his message across.

Regardless of any of my thoughts, Phil is his own person. It’s his business what he thinks, how he acts, and with whom he associates. For me to think any other way would be honestly, openly intolerant.

(I have written this most on Thursday, December 19. I am confident that some of these thoughts will be seen as fact when this posts live on the 23rd. And perhaps some may be proven false. Either way, given my limited knowledge of an event surrounding a show our family very much enjoys, I’m willing to be right and/or wrong in advance.)

Our Christmas seasons can be fraught with gift needs and wants, places to be, people to see. There are gifts wants and needs and people we would like to see, but no fraught (fret?). Not this year.


I grew up in a family with faults far too numerous to count and far too in the past now to dredge. But there were some really cool things, too, that I have chosen to carry into this moment in my life. Like the sincere appreciation for homemade gifts. So, many years I make some if not all of the gifts even when I know they are not appreciated. I had the recipient in mind through the process and so the gift is a piece of me on behalf of my family.



This year there are not so many homemade things. I don’t know why. There just isn’t. And it’s OK. I’m not in the least bothered by it as I would have been in the past. I don’t know why. I’m OK with not knowing why.


My Husband comes about the holidays in a different way than I do. He likes to go and look a half dozen times and then pick up a few things here and there. Stealing a piece of a text with my Sister …

That’s a big part of what gets his mind in the right place for the holidays. Funny how I just want to be home and bake and make while he wants to be out and about. This year, for the first year, I am perfectly OK with whatever. I have no stress. So odd and awesome at the same time.

And I am OK with that. This year. Typically I get my granny panties all wadded up over it. Not this year. I don’t know why not this year, but not this year.


As I type this I am just laughing at myself. There is a brief squabble over what color the next loom band ornament should be. There is a science experiment debate over proper microscope management and there is a miniature schnauzer in desperate need of a good grooming on my lap. It’s comical. And I’m all good with that.


I am grateful for the odd and awesome.

Last week I sat in our local co-op grocery with three of the sweetest of friends. We listened to teens and tweens make their first attempt at a formal meeting. We listened to younger friends rambunctiously laugh their way through nearly every wobbly tall stool in the place. And I became overwhelmed.

Several physical challenges were wrapped around our family. All at once. Nothing life-altering. Nothing permanent. Yet I was overwhelmed.


I am sitting with a woman who has lost two loves. Lost them. They were taken from her. In an instant they were gone. I cannot comprehend.

I am sitting with a woman who will be central to the future of her parents. Precious parents. Parents who love to kiss one another and me. Parents who love their daughter with words and actions I cannot comprehend.

I am sitting with a woman whose steadfastness has bound her family with one another and in determination through the most devastating of challenges. She is the glue. I cannot comprehend the many months, years of wondering.

And my woes are temporary. I cannot honestly say I feel any guilt about my worry. I am concerned about my worry taking me. I am simply overwhelmed. But I was with friends. Sweet, honest, solid friends.

That evening, as I was pounded by the jacuzzi jets that ease the pains in my legs, I made a decision. I decided I am taking these physical challenges of my family’s. I am taking them. I am making them into the most sincere pause of Advent, Solstice, Winter’s Nature that I can. Not by doing, but by being.

And the treadmill I so badly want to be back up on … the walks on our trails covered in hickory nuts and dotted with mud pits? I am taking them, too. After all, I have been medically declared the most non-compliant patient in the county. Why disappoint?

I recently won Kitty Hawk and the Curse of the Yukon Gold from Mymcbook’s blog giveaway. I am truly excited about this as it is 1.) aviation, 2.) gold, 3.) a female, and 4.) a red-head. WOOOhoooo!

This makes me want to learn more about how to do giveaways. Not that I could determine what was relevant to the miss-mash here … SO much fun!

Funny how posts that seem “fluffy” to me sometimes get some not-so-fluffy play.


Apparently there are folks from many walks that feel quite offended that my family enjoys Hanukkah and Christmas. And the mention of Samhain. Whoa. People of the World … relax.


What is my faith? Mine. I believe in God and His Son, Christ Jesus. I have faith in Him as my Redeemer. Is it mysticism as assumed by one clever reader with an excellent, vocabulary. If it is mysticism, it is my mysticism.


And if it is mysticism, I will add the faith and trust in my Husband to provide for our family into the mysticism column. And my faith and trust in my friends to hold my confidences into the mysticism column. And my faith and trust in the producers of the foods and supplies my family uses. And my faith and trust in the chair holding my tired legs into the mysticism column. Oh, wait. The last one was pure physics. The others are blind faith and unyielding trust, however.


Whatever my faith is, it is mine. These children are here with us for this brief time. Will they be influenced by my faith? I cannot imagine how they could not be. As within any family. Am I confusing them with our learning about Nature and history and faith? No more than I am confusing them when I encourage them to eat fresh foods then serve them buttered pasta for dinner. (To my credit, the pasta was whole wheat, the pizza seasoning on it organic, and the parmesan fresh and local. Or was it? There goes my faith and trust [in the products I purchase] again.) Nor as confusing as when I expect them to hold their portion and then cave regardless of portions held. Kids are wise.


They are kids. Why can’t they simply enjoy light? Why can they not simply enjoy light in this season of darkening days? Why can’t they simply celebrate light as the days lengthen and we begin to prepare for our outside time? Who cares if their joy is simply striking the match and watching the wick catch fire and then coating their fingertips in the warm wax? Who cares? I don’t.


I have faith that they are designed and made for their Nature of curiosity and learning in their own ways and in their own times.


I have faith and trust in myself and in my Husband and in our children that this Advent we will enjoy and grow in our own faiths, in our own ways and in our own times by seeking light inside, outside, within. For me, the light is Christ. The light is God’s Nature. The light is a beautiful rhythm of life and death and light and darkness. The moment of living in the joy with light and the finding light within death and darkness. A constant circle. That is my faith.

{this moment} – A Friday ritual. A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. Share your moment here and look for others at SouleMama.

moving toward another trip around the Sun

Sawyer is 9. Nine. Last single digit. I am grateful to be his Mama.

oh yeah. just right following “labor” day.

The first step to recognizing my innate freedom was to first acknowledge that government may only exist through force. All governments exist only by way of force, coercion.

Obviously the “government,” federal, state, and local only exists through force. Government can only operate with taxation and taxation is force. I cannot choose to give or not give to government, rather I am forced via theft – the mandatory at gunpoint – to support government. If I do not pay my taxes, armed guards will visit me. If I refuse to leave with them, they will terrorize me with a raid and/or smoke me out. If, when captured, I resist, they will shoot me. All taxation is immoral for this single fact – I pay or I die.

What was not so obvious to me initially is that a family government is also coercive. Yes. I try to peacefully parent. I do better some days than others. But there is still coercion, force. If my child has an unsafe room, she will not go to her friend’s. If my son does not process his plate, he will not get a fresh one with fresh food. If an animal is not cared for, the pet is repossessed. All of these are coercion.

What makes universal government and family government different? Contracts.

A contract is, by definition, a binding contract between two persons, entities. I have no contract with the US government, with the NC government, with the AC government. I have not signed nor been in negotiation with any of those entities. The “Social Contract” is an empty concept. (Click on that little colored link to read a very clear and logical expression of such.)

In our home, we do negotiate contracts.

Want to see a friend? I will drive you when your room is no longer a safety hazard. The child can agree or not agree to the contract or negotiate further to the definition of “safety hazard.”

Want to be served the next meal? The child can agree or not agree to the contract or negotiate further his menu options and hunger.

Want a pet? The child can agree or not agree to the contract or negotiate further her responsibilities to the pet.

The child has choices.

My Husband and I negotiate contracts. He wants to see bands on Friday and Saturday. I only want to be out one day. I can negotiate to suit what my needs are while still respecting his wants.

I have no choices with universal government. None. Even if I vote and select an individual who may or may not win the election, I am still taxed without choice because government cannot exist without taxation and taxation is theft – I have no say in the amount, the timing, the direction of the funds.

So, the first step to acknowledging and applying my innate freedom was to recognize that all government is immoral, even within our home. I do what I can to mitigate that immorality in my home, however, because I can choose to acknowledge my children’s innate freedom as well and respect their humanity by allowing them to make most of their own choices.

I have had interesting exchanges with various people of late, all beginning with a conversation about the Common Core Standards or the state legislation redefining home education in NC. I am sharing a few such responses now. They are not perfect. Autocorrect took the helm too many times and too many times I did not catch the errors it left. Or chose not to re-read what I wrote. One was written entirely too late into the night, in fact. I have taken out individual names, but left organizations and locations. I am intentionally not including the other people’s original emails. I can legally do so since the letters were written to me. However, I choose not to.


I have pondered much on this email today. Thank you for taking the time to write.

Your support of the CCS as a facilitator desiring to correlate does support public education. Public education is a coercive act. It is an aggressive act. in fact, so aggressive, it is widely accepted that public education violates the non-aggression principle. It’s funding is through taxation in which I have no choice – coercion. If I do not pay my taxes, armed “servants” will greet me at my home. If I refuse to come out, they will violate my private property and retrieve me with force and that force includes guns, pointed at my head in a standard shoot-to-kill stance. I am not making this up. This is fact.

Just as it is a fact that all government requires hunger for power lest there be no government. Government assumes that you and I are not capable of determining how to manage ourselves amongst this difference. I believe we are capable.

I do not care how you parent (education is a part of parenting to me). I am under no moral obligation to support you. But you become morally obligated to give me a good return for my good payment when you choose to take from the government till. While your children may be in an elite, private setting, you are supporting and promoting a public program in which I own a piece of the till.

Having had at length discussion with board members and having attended a board meeting (and others I hope as my evenings allow) I am aware that the board is not wholly leftist. It is, however, by definition statist. It also suggests an even-handed employment of that statism. It is not even-handed. Only those with non-statist, or in simpleton’s language “conservative” views have been hand-slapped in my time in CHH. Well, minus the harmonica playing vagina, but that was just funny, in the long run.

I do not believe in government. I do believe in the good, naturally peaceful free will of people to look after themselves. Yet, I choose to accept that this is not the community in which I choose to live. So I choose to simply point out the errors in the logic of such faux-tolerance. Life is a series of choices, after all.

But really, none of the above really bothers me, because I see no need to like nor dislike you. I don’t really care about you. You are just another person on the planet that I do not know. Another brick in the wall…

What does bother me is that you assume you know me. Well assume and you make an ass out of you and me. Who am I? I am a lovingly devoted wife and mother. I am a loyal friend. I am a fun person. So much fun, in fact, that autocorrect steadily changes “Patty” to “Party.” And I am a believer in people. I believe people, when left alone to make decisions for ourselves, make the most of ourselves. I hope this little note helps you understand a bit more about me.

If you are interested in details from the CCS source documents or the CCS source documents themselves, I will be happy to direct you.

With less interest than when I began this note,

(this is a response to [Friend’s] response to the above:


Thank you for your reply. You ask a lot of questions about liberty. No, I do not think the government has a role in roads, prisons, fire, police, schools, etc. I believe communities (think Chapel Hill, Efland, Burlington) can make these choices as communities. If they want. Or not if they don’t. I also believe in the ability of individuals to choose where they want to live. However, with a federal and state government in my bedroom, bathroom, kitchen, backyard, and vehicle, there is no where I can go and be untouched by government. Not in this country. Yet I can choose to be where my physical needs are balanced with my philosophical core. Anyone can.

If you are interested in concepts of liberty, I can direct you to some easy to read sources. But I will not give you the answers. If it is worth your interest, you will seek it yourself. Know this, as a community, a county, a state, a country, we did not have these “services” and we did just fine. It is an attitude of entitlement that creates the need (want, in my books) now. There is no true need. There is also no true responsibility.

My family is a member of several homeschooling groups. I fact, six groups. CHH is the only one with a board. The.Only.One. In the other groups, individuals make decisions and communicate them to the community of that group. If something requires money, individuals pay for it or prepare a personal budget to make it happen. If people argue or something inappropriate is posted, the individuals work it out or the community pulls it back into check.

An example of self-managed activity is the Homeschool Fall Formal myself and four other homeschool moms are planning. We are not doing this as part of or on behalf of any homeschooling group. We are doing it because it is something we want for our children and therefore we are making it happen. We, as individuals, decided to cooperate, make estimations, develop a budget, and so on. This is no different than the Not-Back-to-school swim party. In fact, the budget for the dance is at least 10 times greater, yet requires no board nor any designated “leader.”

We do the same in each of our other homeschooling groups. We just throw it out there. And those groups and equally as mixed with “conservatives” and “liberals.” Oh how I have come to despise those, and most other labels. I have yet to have any such issues in the groups to which I belong without a board. I founded none of those groups.

And lastly, no contribution is charitable when it is made by force. When I choose to give money or resources to a local food bank, that is charity. When I choose to give money or time to St. Jude’s, that is charity. When my husband flies a cancer patient to Mayo Clinic pro bono, that is charity. Taxation is coercion. By definition it is not charitable. I make no choices regarding the spending of the funds.

Please stop admonishing me. I do not need a parent. I will choose to communicate how I want. I wear BIG, BIG big girl panties. I choose, with intent and thought, how I respond to the few post on CHH to which I respond.

Again, if you are interested in learning about liberty or the CCS, I am happy to direct you to sources.

Enjoy the day,


(to a different individual who feels we are journeying together because we walk on the same planet and wonders how we can be in the same homeschooling group if we are not journeying together.)


Are we on the earth together? Yes. Do we share citizenship in the same country, state? Yes. Do we both educate our offspring at home? Yes. Therefore we are in CHH together.

However, it is clear from your response that our homeschooling journey has little else in common. There are two paths in the wood and I take the lesser traveled one – the one without the government’s dictate, reassurance, false hope. I do not believe there is any role of any kind for government in education. I believe education is a commodity and one to be chosen by each individual family, not subject to coercion as compulsory education is via government.

Your discussion of the CCS expresses an appreciation and responsibility of government to educate. I find compulsory education immoral. I find compulsory education in direct violation of the non-aggression principle. Compulsory education is coercive. No one should be coerced into any action. Our paths are different.

Yes, my less traveled path is a journey also. One in which I am constantly learning, assessing, and developing my thoughts and philosophies. But my journey is not yours. And I am OK with that. I simply ask that we acknowledge the topic of the CCS for what it is – a politically motivated issue. It has been a hotly contested and debated issue for at least three years for many reasons, among which are a denial of parental rights and the windfall for private testing companies that have aided in the development of the CCS. To pretend it is not a political issue is to be a sheeple and walk with the herd. I do not herd well.

With gratitude for your kind and sincere reply,