Long ago in the Land of PlayGroups, our friend Tami shared a simple thought. Why not ask our husbands what they want. Do they want dinner on the table when they arrive home? Do they always want the living room floor clean and tidy? Do they want the paper laid out? Do they prefer sex at night, middle of the night, morning, middle of the day? How novel to ask rather than assume.

And so I asked my Husband what did he want. His answer was as simple as my question – I want a peaceful home.

OK. I need detail and my Husband is not known for the play-by-play. So I asked specific questions and what I learned was surprising.

He did not want to eat as soon as he walked in.

He did not care if the house was “tidy.”

He did want the paper (and his magazines) easy to find.

And sex, well, that is ours to know.

Most importantly, I learned he wants some downtime when he gets home. Not to be swallowed with questions, requests, and my (or the children’s) play-by-plays. He wants to come in, say hello and share his love, and then retire for a few minutes to the yard, basement, bedroom alone with a drink and unwind. Or, as I like to imagine, take his SuperMan cape off and put his Mr. Rogers sweater and sneakers on. Just to relax.

And over time, I have asked these and many other questions again. Because we all change. What I can offer changes. What my Husband wants changes. If I don’t ask, how can I know? I don’t always ask as often as I should, though. But this post shared on facebook by Kristian reminds me, that Nature’s season has changed. It’s time for me to ask again.

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