I can’t sleep. The nausea left over from the stomach bug is eating at me. I’ve knitted. I’ve crocheted. I’ve played Bakery Story. I even finished my first ever something of Angry Birds. And when I did complete the Cherry Blossom whatever, rather than going for golden somethings I decided to check email and I had this:

Hi there,

This message is to inform you that YouTube has received a complaint from a party claiming that you are using their trademark without permission on your YouTube account. Details of the claim are as follows:

————————————————————-

Claimaint’s full name: Andrea H. Evans, Esq.
Title: Attorney
Company name: The Law Firm of Andrea Hence Evans, LLC
Trademark owner: Attorney of Record
Relationship to trademark owner: Attorney
Contact email address: andrea.evans@evansiplaw.com

————————————————————
Trademark: KidGINEER
Brand: wordmark
Registered: yes
Registered Country: us
Application or Registration No.: 3826399
————————————————————

Additional Information: N/A
Reported Username: mykidzmomnow
Action Requested: Remove account
Clarification of infringement: The video uses our trademark KIDGINEER in it
and others are likely to confuse this video
as being supported, endorsed or
even sponsored by KidGINEER,
LLC. This use constitutes trademark infringement
and unfair competition. Please note continued use of our registered
trademark will constitute willful infringement, entitling our client to
treble damages. This notice also references_
http_//www.youtube.com/watch?v=_pzKSyfORCk
http_//www.youtube.com/watch?v=1rOjsyVVQnc Please immediately remove
all
use of KidGINEER from your video immediately. Please contact Andrea H.
Evans at 301 497-9997

————————————————————-

The trademark owner has requested that the complaint be submitted to you in order to resolve the matter directly. Remember, you are responsible for content you post to YouTube. Please note that YouTube cannot provide you with legal advice – we recommend you contact your own counsel for guidance.

Sincerely,

The YouTube Team

Well, of course, tomorrow I’ll just remove the “kidgineer” from the title because I am nice. Of course, I thought I was being clever. I saw the term used at Marbles for the can display. And at City Park once when Reade was little. Oh, well.

Anyways. I won’t open the laptop until morning so I figured I’d at least have my peace. Sure, I’ll probably get a meaner letter, but what the hay. Google kidgineer and read about what it does and how it does it. Sounds worthy on the forefront. And it probably is.

But this chick, rather than just messaging me through my account, chose to complain to YouTube. Seriously? What a bully. Here is my reply sent to the email above.

Seriously? I am a mom. That means I have kids. And like at least some moms, I think they’re cute. And the term “kidgineer” is used commonly by public recreational facilities, malls, children’s museums. Seriously?

Yes. I’ll resolve it with you directly. Respond to me with some sense and sensibility and we’ll see where it goes.

And why don’t you google yourself and your term before you respond. Obviously you’ve spent lots of money to trademark what you believe to be your original idea. And good for you.

I believe the anarcho-capitalism you viciously, and successfully, work to defend as a very successful and highly awarded patent attorney. And I know I can’t beat you. Because…I am just a mom. And as an average, run-of-the-mill person, I respond just fine to a nice letter explaining the situation rather than the youtube generated threat you chose to hide behind.

So, how about try again and ask nicely? Because surely, you would not encourage “future scientists an engineers” to be the bully you are right now.

With sincere regards,
mykidzmomnow

“It’s not enough to be busy, so are the ants. The question is, what are we busy about?” ~Henry David Thoreau

Well. That about does it. I mean, i’m flattered she thinks I’m smart enough to infringe on a trademark. I guess I did figure out how to post videos to YouTube from my phone. It takes a long time…

And I am even blushing with delight at the thought that I threaten with “unfair competition.” Now that is some kind of compliment for a fat girl who wears worn out jeans, tattered tanks, and survivor jackets as a uniform.

And now, instead of just having nausea with which to contend, I have an accelerated heart rate. Will this ginger water help with that?

UPDATE 01:08, 3/14/2012: I am smart enough to steal a trademark and to unfairly compete with a patent attorney, but I am not smart enough to realize my smart phone has a browser app and I can go to YouTube from there. So I did. It was a royal pain in my fat butt, but now all the video titles say “…kids that would be engineers if granted the gift by a patent attorney” within them. Because I am nice. Suck that.

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