The morning started off beautifully. The children woke on their own. We read together. Then the chewing began. That word here or jab there leads to a nasty comment and then to a sneer and then to bickering.
Honestly, I’d prefer they have a full on fist fight resulting in blood and followed with arnica. Bickering is like water boarding.
Of course I discouraged it. I was calm, collected. Guiding. Gently. Until I wasn’t. With a single yell and a pushed table, I was done. D-O-N-E. Done.
So, I left to run errands on my own. They actually wonder if I am coming home. I never said I wasn’t. How cruel and not gentle is this abandonment? Very cruel and not at all gentle.
I feel zapped inside. I just want to go home and cuddle in a pile on the sofa. But I can’t. When I move down into the driveway, I am sitting at the top of it getting up the gumption now, when I walk into that house I have to have my game face on. I have to stand firm in my expectation that they show kindness to one another and that they obey me.
That’s why you rarely read of my complaining about my children. I am
the one molding them day in and day out. Their bad behavior mirrors what I model and approve. And besides, if they think they can run me off so easily, they’re wrong. I am the parent.