Today does not exist. Nor do half birthdays. We will make today count because we can’t redo it for four more years.
Here is our most recent half-birthday that NEVER happened. You hear me? NEVER happened. Because they don’t exist. Like anything else on February 29. It does not exist.
And next month? There’s a half-birthday. Wait. No no half-birthday. There are two birthdays. Only.
PS – That thing, pictured above, that never really happened? It also didn’t happen on Super Bowl Sunday.