Sounds like a silly post, does it not? But it’s a very important topic. One I think takes consideration when forced into the use of public facilities.


If I walk into a restroom with many stalls from which to choose, I always choose the very first 0ne. Sometimes it’s a handicap and sometimes it isn’t. I choose the first because I’ve payed close attention and few people race into the first stall. Maybe they overlook it. Maybe they don’t like being the first set of feet on display. Maybe they don’t want folks thinking the stink is coming from them. Maybe. I don’t know. I do know that if there are many stalls, I choose the first one. It’s usually the cleanest and most available.


If the first one is unacceptable or occupied, I go to the handicap stall. It seems to usually be open like the handicap parking spots. How dare the handicapped folks use regular spots and regular toilets! It truly is a horror. I suppose the handicap stall is often empty because there are not as many handicapped people as disability payouts would have us believe and that those who have not yet found their handicap somehow believe they must reserve that stall for the handicapped person when she comes along. There’s no $250 fine sign, so I use it. And as a mother to many, I’ve enjoyed the room.


Now the real dilemma for me is in eateries for the most part. Often there are only two stalls. The first one and the handicap one. Which to choose? Well, if I am going to listen to live music, I try to hold my urine as long as I can. A bladder infection is always preferred over the nastiness of women, especially drunk women.  If I can no longer hold my urine and the venue is in the city or the weather is cold prohibiting my natural cavewoman tendency to squat by a bush (that is a little bit of a joke), then I must choose a stall. So I typically go for the handicap. There’s more room and a bar for my safety so I hover a little higher than  usual.


Now, this is a serious post written this morning about 815a over coffee. Not at 2p after a couple of vodka tonics (again, a little bit of a joke there). My advice in summary is:

  • Choose the first toilet
  • if the first one is not available, Choose the handicap toilet
  • if there are only a first and a handicap, Choose the handicap toilet
  • Hold onto the bar.  Hover high.



If you sprinkle when you tinkle,

Please be neat and wipe the seat.