I’d like to tell you how I know this woman. But I can’t. Our paths at least attempted to cross once before and then did cross a couple of years ago. Or was it that long ago? Or longer?
It’s funny to me how so easy it is to forget how I know someone. Or for how long. Or even where or when we met. Yet, other people I can tell you the exact moment.
Maybe it’s because I grow into some people. Or I grow with. Not so much in a circle but more like a wavelength. Times when the wave is close to the axis and times when it’s far apart. Kind of like running in circles. Sometimes together and sometimes apart.
From my friend…
A few weeks ago I was reminded just how cyclical the rhythms of life can be (do NOT cue Elton John, please). It came to me during one of those Alice-in-Wonderlandesque philosophical fogs that the sleep-depraved experience. The call for guest posts was a perfect opportunity for me to flesh out my musings, hopefully in a manner that conveys adequately.
I recall with my first child how we had to rehash everything each time he hit another level of development. Points of knowledge or discussion we had already covered, or mastered, had to be gone over again each time: how to brush teeth properly, paying attention around streets and parking lots, picking up from one activity before moving on to the next, table manners, proper hand washing…. It’d get exhausting as part of me would get exasperated: “We’ve already been over this!”
The concept holds true for me as well. Each major change in my life I find myself rehashing the same things over-and-over again, even though I thought I’d mastered it the last go-round. Tweendom, the peak of puberty, each pregnancy and each postpartum period. During these times I found myself battling with my concepts of Self once more: self-image, self-worth, self-reliance… It’s very frustrating how it feels like a constant battle and it can really beat up one’s confidence. (I wonder how much of this idea plays into various cases of “Baby Blues” and PPD).
As we’ve gone through the mayhem of the last several years (job changes, cross-country moves, living with in-laws) I’ve managed to forget this tidbit about my kids and everybody’s frustration level has been rising exponentially till it seems like I’m constantly functioning in RMS (Roaring Mama Syndrome). I’ve been observing the last few months how my children seem “stuck” and unresponsive to directions. Granted, having a baby ups the ante of familial stress and mayhem, but how much of it is due to not paying sufficient heed to our cyclical nature? To acknowledge life’s tendency for spiral learning? It warrants further observation and musing, as well as trying to find a proactive way of bringing all these circles into a productive alignment. If we’re going to be running in circles we can at least run in the same direction, right? 😉