A broken heart surely hurts more than any illness ever can.

I learned when I was a young girl that when a person is so deeply in love and loses that love, he will not live long after that love is gone.

As a grown woman, I’ve experienced losing people who mattered very much to me. And I’ve watched how a person responds when he loses his love.

From my own experience, I can safely say that when one loves his partner, or parent, or friend so very much that he has become one with that person, his mourning is greater than it would be if he loved, but not so spiritually, the person.

While writing this I am struggling not to use examples. I don’t want to assume I know another’s relationship better than the person or the family. So, I’ll use my own example. It may hurt others to share it, but this is not unknown.

August 25, 1992 is the date of my Nana’s death. Yes. *My* Nana. No. I wasn’t her only grandchild. I wasn’t even her only granddaughter. I was her Sweet Little Red Haired Angel. And on that day I entered the toughest times I’ve ever known until late.

Yes, my Nana helped me financially. Yes, she helped me spiritually. Yes, she helped me emotionally. More imortantly, she loved me NO MATTER WHAT. No matter what happened, my Nana loved me. She didn’t fuss when she’d let me know I’d done wrong. She didn’t scorn me when I made stupid teenager choices and she called me out on them. I always knew she loved me first. Always.

When she died, I was paralyzed. Literally. My dad called to tell me. One week into my freshman year of college. And I froze. I couldn’t even schedule a plane or bus trip to get back to her. My suite mate saw that and did it for me.

That single moment of losing my Nana has shaped how I respond to any situation in which I know not what to do. Granted, there are relatively few of those. I am grateful. But when I don’t know what to do, I *really* don’t know what to do.

Christmas is kind of one of those times. I plan, I chart, I prepare. But even one small diversion from the plans, charts, and preparations and I am paralyzed.

And in enters my prince charming. This man loves me like my Nana loves me. NO MATTER WHAT. And I’ve truly tested that theory, so I know of what I speak.

Husband does not freeze. Well, only once that I recall but even then he wasn’t paralyzed, he just chose a less appealing option. And didn’t even follow through with it. This man is a rock. He’s my rock.

I choose not to imagine a life without him. A broken heart wouldn’t look so good on me.

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