This can sometimes be a challenge to know what to share. Faith is a very personal journey for me. I am not more interested in sharing the personal travels of my faithwalk with Christ anymore than I am interested in the personal travels of another person’s faithwalk. No, it’s not a hide my candle thing. I don’t mind professing. I just don’t “wear the pin.”

While continuing my study of Romans, I am also working to reconcile the demands of a Proverbs 31 woman and the Titus 2 instructions to women. How do I not let my lamp go out at night (Proverbs 31:18) and obedient to my husband (Titus 2:5) at the same time? There is always work to be done and Husband wants me to stop and sit with him. How? This is such a real and deep and ragining conflict for me. I never want to be lazy.

I am very willing to work with my hands (Proverbs 31:13), get up early to begin my day (Proverbs 31:15), to serve my community (Proverbs 31:20), to continue the seasonal processes of care in my own home (Proverbs 31:21), to *gulp* shop and study and take the time to make myself beautiful for Husband (Proverbs 31:22), to grow my business (Proverbs 31:24), to learn with our children (Proverbs 31:26).

But none of that is worthy if I am not obeying my husband (Titus 2:5). None of that matters if he is not comfortable at home because I am flitting around every where and there. Titus 2 doesn’t guide me to moving in one hundred directions from sun up to sun down. Or even before sun up to after sun down. Paul just instructs me to be a “homemaker.” Well, there are all kinds of homemakers. From those that have wonderfully comfortable homes with not necessarily everything in place to those that run like a naval battleship with precision unlike anything I know. Where is MY middle ground?

Obviously this is a conflict with which I struggle. I am working on this in earnest. I am. Because above all, I want to obey Christ. And if I obey His word and His guidance for my time on this third rock from the sun, then it will all fall into place.

The Virtuous Wife, Proverbs 31:10 – 31
10 Who can find a virtuous wife?
For her worth is far above rubies.
11 The heart of her husband safely trusts her;
So he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.
13 She seeks wool and flax,
And willingly works with her hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
She brings her food from afar.
15 She also rises while it is yet night,
And provides food for her household,
And a portion for her maidservants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
From her profits she plants a vineyard.
17 She girds herself with strength,
And strengthens her arms.
18 She perceives that her merchandise is good,
And her lamp does not go out by night.
19 She stretches out her hands to the distaff,
And her hand holds the spindle.
20 She extends her hand to the poor,
Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of snow for her household,
For all her household is clothed with scarlet.
22 She makes tapestry for herself;
Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates,
When he sits among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
And supplies sashes for the merchants.
25 Strength and honor are her clothing;
She shall rejoice in time to come.
26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,
And on her tongue is the law of kindness.
27 She watches over the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;
Her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “ Many daughters have done well,
But you excel them all.”
30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,
But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,
And let her own works praise her in the gates.

Paul’s Instructions for Women in the Church, Titus 2:3-5

3 the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things— 4 that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.