Some of the most hurtful things I think parents can say are, “I can’t wait until school starts” and “I dread Christmas break.”

I am not talking about the “I need a break BAD.” Or, “My kid is driving me nuts.” Every parent experiences that at least several times in a lifetime…

I am talking about the need to be away from a child so badly that one feels the need to trust that child to strangers most of the time when those strangers have a known yet mysterious set agenda that does not necessarily coincide with the family’s creed.

Here is an excerpt of a letter with editing to correct my innocently over-inflated numbers and restatement to turn it into a treatise rather than a communication.  I wrote this over the weekend. This is an explanation of my thoughts. Not a justification. Not a judgement. An explanation of *my* thoughts.


I love my children more than life itself, I do not want to be with them all day long, every day 

That being the case stated to me by many parents as a reason why they do not homeschool. I am not the only homeschooler that hears this … why do you expect my family and 500+ homeschool families in our County, the 600+ private school families in our County (and all the people all over the state and country without children in the public school system yet who pay state and federal taxes) to fund ½ of your children’s lives from ages 6 to 16 because you “do not want to be with them all day long, every day?”  That is the statist perspective that not only your family professes, but MOST families profess. It isn’t about education. It is about indoctrination. It isn’t about money. It is about theft.

It is ultimately about responsibility. It is not my family’s, nor any other family’s/individual’s, other than yours and your husband’s, to care for your children. Your children are required by law and threat of incarceration to be in school ½ of their lives from ages 6 to 16 at the childcare expense of my family and other families. Why is it anyone’s responsibility other than yours and your husband’s to emotionally and financially support your children? No one else made the choice to create them, birth them, keep them, and place them in public care. You and your husband and every other parent with a child in a public school setting (charters and magnets included) chose this. 

It is estimated ( that in NC the average cost to educate a pupil ranges from $119k to $192k per child for grades K-12. I believe it would be reasonable to increase that amount, as the survey suggests, 25% to include the additional needs that are of course spread across all the students and taxpayers regardless of use of services. That raises the median from $148k to $240k. As stated in the analysis, in your County the average per pupil expenditure for grades K-12 is $127,779 and with the additional expenses such as equipment, bussing, athletics, etc, it is raised to $159,723.75. Assuming the costs were to remain at a stand still (even as public sector salaries, ie teaching jobs continue to rise significantly as compared to private sector) that would mean your family of three would cost a total of just under one-half a million dollars to graduate from high school. And I doubt the cost will go down. And that’s only the financial burden.

There is no way to estimate the damage of a statist agenda. Unless the statist agenda is not bothersome to the family, which I believe is the case more than not. It is much easier to run along with the herd or school or gander than it is to ignore or defy the herd/school/gander.

This is not a slam. It is a perspective. You seem to truly want to understand why I feel the way I feel. And I appreciate that. A lot. I would not share this with you in this way if I didn’t think you wanted to know and understand. This is why I feel this way. It’s a “don’t breed ‘em if you can’t feed ‘em” perspective. Yeah, that’s harsh, but it’s true. Public education is just another social handout program… Only this one has been forced on us with threat of jail and losing our children. And those of us who choose not to participate are still threatened with jail and losing our families if we don’t educate in a prescribed way. And we are threatened with jail and additional taxes if we refuse to contribute to the gubmint’s system. Does this in any way help you understand  how and why I feel this way?

I don’t know any parent who public, private, or home educates her children and feels she has all the answers. None. The goal for me is not give the children everything they need. It is to give them the ability to learn for themselves everything they need. And that, in my opinion, does not require anything other than a steadfast parent.